A Tale of Two Mamas
Trying to keep someone IN timeout
Archive for Things I really shouldn't talk about
September 24, 2008 at 10:48 am · Filed under Things I really shouldn't talk about, but do anyway...
“Desperate times ….
call for desperate measures.”
This morning we ran out of milk and God knows I just can’t have black coffee.
All we had was freshly pumped breastmilk in the fridge.
You see where I’m going with this, right?
It tasted exactly like my regular morning coffee and while I was sipping on my cup-o-Joe I was wondering if this could possibly be the new alternative for vegans (people that don’t eat meat or drink/eat dairy) or since the milk is from a living thing they would not drink it?
May 31, 2008 at 7:24 pm · Filed under Food, PDB - PetriDish Baby, Things I really shouldn't talk about
This morning at 5am I woke up to find that I had what appeared to be a clot of blood. I was so excited and had to wake Margot up instantly to show her my findings.
She was not as amused and I’m sure seeing my disgusting pre-birth was not her idea of a morning greeting.
She went back to bed and I continued to examine and then went to the bathroom a few more times. Each time I wiped I’d get a mucusy red/pink/brownish wormy substance.
Margot went on a geocaching adventure and met up with friends and I went to the farmer’s market with Graem. We met up with J, L, I, and S. The kids played and we ate some great food too.
After the farmer’s market we went to the bakery to pick up 3 bread puddings. Rumor has it if you’re pregnant and nearing your due date if you eat these bread puddings you’ll go into labor.
Then we went to the mall. J and Graem ran asking for gumballs and rides on the machines. I walked like I had a gorilla in my stomach and almost stole this old lady’s walker. (You know the one with the cool basket, seat, and hand brakes?)
After walking up and down the mall and through Target we went to the Target Cafe where we hooked up with an endless cup of Coke and day old popcorn followed by all of the trashy magazines we could get our hands on.
We tried not to neglect the children and filled them up with popcorn and water while they harassed other Target patrons.
While at Target we decided that we should make a stop at the Kentucky Fried Chicken! Two pregnant women, two kids, and a station wagon and it was a done deal….we were off to the town 45 minutes away to pick up a family bucket of chicken, mashed potatoes, orange macaroni, and a gallon of soda!
On the way home we had to pull over at the gas station where I clogged up the toilet and we had to make a run for it as I was running out the door! Eek!
Margot met us back at J&L’s house where we enjoyed tons of fried chicken and other glutoneous food.
Now we’re home and I’m exhausted. I just soaked in Burt’s Bees Therapeutic Salts and we rented National Treasure 2 with Nicholas Cage. More than likely it won’t be too good and I’ll fall asleep within the first few minutes.
Well, it looks like this baby is coming in June after all!
April 24, 2008 at 7:13 pm · Filed under Things I really shouldn't talk about, Work
As most of you have probably noticed — I’m back to my old ways of blogging for money! That’s why I’m talking about skin whitening, weight loss pills, rehab, and poker tables.
One way you can tell if I’m pimpin’ myself out is if the category under the topic has PP. If it does - that means paid post and I’m getting paid the big bucks.
A girl’s got to earn money for cute cloth diapers these days!
April 21, 2008 at 4:03 pm · Filed under Food, PDB - PetriDish Baby, Things I really shouldn't talk about
Many times the two go together. Fat lady + chocolate cake = cankles.
Not so much in this situation!
Yesterday, I looked down at my feet and “holy shit” they were the size of wood logs that you’d put in the fire place! I was instantly shocked and of course focused on my big ass canks for the rest of the afternoon. So as I was feeling them to see if they had fluid I realize that I also have sausage fingers to go with my canks!
Our friend L was over and we went to the drugstore so that I could get a quick reading of my blood pressure. The first reading came out at 155/70 — but I’m pretty sure it’s because I had to waddle to the back of the store and was out of breath. The second reading was 122/60. Not too shabby.
Of course, last night Margot got to hear me moan and complain about the cankle legs and I’m pretty paranoid that my feet look like Fred Flintstones.
In other news — Wegmans Deluxe Chocolate Cake - THE BOMB. It’s gooey chocolate cake that has three layers seperated by the sweetest and thickest layer of chocolate icing I’ve ever tasted or seen in my life.
I got a mini one at the bakery and let’s just say… it was too mini and I should really hide the evidence from my dear partner before she gets home and realizes that I consumed the whole damn thing.
April 8, 2008 at 12:36 pm · Filed under Rants, Things I really shouldn't talk about
Over the past few months (years) Margot and I have been discussing (read: fighting) over getting rid of the dog.
Bailey is about seven years old and ever since she was a little puppy has been riled up, barks constantly, and jumps on people. Then there’s the part about her escaping with every oppurtunity, not listening when called, and crapping and peeing on the floor and carpet.
I think my tolerance during this pregnancy has dwindled and I constantly feel like I’m yelling at her and angry when she jumps on or off of me and my belly or goes to jump on a little kid. I find it unacceptable.
A few months ago I threatened to take her to the pound and be done with her. However, Margot said that she would take her to the vet and get anti-anxiety meds.
That hasn’t happened and today Bailey jumped out of the house and went missing for a good 20 minutes. I tried to follow her and catch her but the reality is…big mama isn’t moving too fast these days and I’m not about to dive for the damn dog!
So after calling Margot and sitting down on the steps frustrated and cursing that little bastard….Bailey finally came up next to me and I put her leash on.
In the next few minutes I’m going to take Bailey to the vet so that we can try to get her medicated in hopes that she will calm down and become a good dog.
Next stop is the pound.
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