A Tale of Two Mamas
Trying to keep someone IN timeout
Archive for Food
May 31, 2008 at 7:24 pm · Filed under Food, PDB - PetriDish Baby, Things I really shouldn't talk about
This morning at 5am I woke up to find that I had what appeared to be a clot of blood. I was so excited and had to wake Margot up instantly to show her my findings.
She was not as amused and I’m sure seeing my disgusting pre-birth was not her idea of a morning greeting.
She went back to bed and I continued to examine and then went to the bathroom a few more times. Each time I wiped I’d get a mucusy red/pink/brownish wormy substance.
Margot went on a geocaching adventure and met up with friends and I went to the farmer’s market with Graem. We met up with J, L, I, and S. The kids played and we ate some great food too.
After the farmer’s market we went to the bakery to pick up 3 bread puddings. Rumor has it if you’re pregnant and nearing your due date if you eat these bread puddings you’ll go into labor.
Then we went to the mall. J and Graem ran asking for gumballs and rides on the machines. I walked like I had a gorilla in my stomach and almost stole this old lady’s walker. (You know the one with the cool basket, seat, and hand brakes?)
After walking up and down the mall and through Target we went to the Target Cafe where we hooked up with an endless cup of Coke and day old popcorn followed by all of the trashy magazines we could get our hands on.
We tried not to neglect the children and filled them up with popcorn and water while they harassed other Target patrons.
While at Target we decided that we should make a stop at the Kentucky Fried Chicken! Two pregnant women, two kids, and a station wagon and it was a done deal….we were off to the town 45 minutes away to pick up a family bucket of chicken, mashed potatoes, orange macaroni, and a gallon of soda!
On the way home we had to pull over at the gas station where I clogged up the toilet and we had to make a run for it as I was running out the door! Eek!
Margot met us back at J&L’s house where we enjoyed tons of fried chicken and other glutoneous food.
Now we’re home and I’m exhausted. I just soaked in Burt’s Bees Therapeutic Salts and we rented National Treasure 2 with Nicholas Cage. More than likely it won’t be too good and I’ll fall asleep within the first few minutes.
Well, it looks like this baby is coming in June after all!
May 25, 2008 at 6:27 pm · Filed under Actual posts about being moms, Food, PDB - PetriDish Baby
Last night we got in from the hospital and I went straight to bed after writing the post. I slept like a baby - only getting up to pee.
This morning we all woke up pretty chipper. We had pancake breakfast and set out for the wineries. We went to Americana Winery first and Margot, Alex, and Dom tasted about 14 different wines. To say the least they got bloody drunk and Graem and me played outside while sipping on soda and eating fudge.
Then we decided to venture out to the next destination: Lucas Vineyard. It was nice and everyone stumbled in and drank a few more glasses of wine.
We decided to eat at Simply Red - Sheldrake Bistro and it was delcious! We sat outside on the patio that overlooked the lake. We had great conversation, amazing food, and more wine! (Not me, of course!)
After a two hour lunch we decided we’d continue driving around the lake and go to MacKenzie-Childs. They specialize in pottery and are located in Aurora, New York. All of the pottery was over the top - even for two gay guys. We walked the property looking at the tulips and animals. It wasn’t the same as a few years back when they had beautiful peacocks and perfect grounds.
The boys have been dying to see the Ithaca gay scene and so we took them to our local townie hang out - Common Ground. They had a nice family BBQ and we had margaritas and soda. The boys had hotdogs and I had a delicious hamburger.
Now we’re fat, exhausted, and smelly!
I had a few contractions at the winery…but I must say…I’m not really sure I see this kid coming any time soon and I’ve give up on jumping up and down, sex, herbs, and howling at the moon.
April 29, 2008 at 1:06 pm · Filed under Food, PDB - PetriDish Baby
I’m exhausted, bitchy, exhausted, crampy, and exhausted.
My hips, lower back, and pelvis have been giving me issues in the evening and of course it just gets worse as the night goes on and I try to get some sleep.
Today we went to the midwife and we asked our list of questions. She also checked to see how the baby was in my belly. Initially, she said that the baby felt like she was head down. YIPPEE!
Just before the appointment PDB had the hiccups and I could feel the hiccups up high (under the boobs) and so I was sure the baby was head up. (It’s really a treat to see the girls bobbing up and down as the baby hiccups. Sometimes I think I’m going to get a black eye.)
So the midwife gets out the doppler to check the baby’s heartbeat. She goes everywhere and little Emmy starts performing karate chops to all parts of my belly! She then does some ninja jumps complete with full twirls and cartwheels.
Finally, the midwife finds the baby’s heartbeat right above my belly button. Which would lead us to think that she’s head up and not head down like she’s suppose to be.
So she decides to do the Strep B culture to see if I need antibiotics during delivery. It that test comes up positive then they’ll try to push delivery along within 24 hours after my water breaks and I’ll be given pennicilin.
*WARNING: TOO MUCH INFO*
I thought that the culture was done in your who-ha and was shocked that they touch the swab three times. All three times between your chotchy and bunghole. Interesting indeed.
*BACK TO NORMAL CONVERSATION*
So, after she was done with the Strep B culture she went in and did an internal to see if she could feel the baby’s head. She thinks it was the head and it seemed low. However, I was experiencing too much pain and asked her to stop.
I really think I’m going to be screwed with this whole delivery thing. I can’t even take a few fingers in there, yet I’m expected to get a baby out of that same vicinity. Damn, mama’s in trouble.
Much to our delight we were told that little girl is probably long and anywhere between 6 and 6 1/2 pounds!
The good thing about all of this is that we get an ultrasound out of it because the midwife couldn’t say for sure how the baby is lying. Thursday’s the big day and I’m hoping and praying that little girl is head down and stays that way!!
Now I’m going to watch some court television. I’m hoping that will put me fast to sleep!
P.S. I love the Double Whopper with cheese sandwich from Burger King. Yum. And yes, I can eat the whole damn thing. With fries. And a shake.
April 21, 2008 at 4:03 pm · Filed under Food, PDB - PetriDish Baby, Things I really shouldn't talk about
Many times the two go together. Fat lady + chocolate cake = cankles.
Not so much in this situation!
Yesterday, I looked down at my feet and “holy shit” they were the size of wood logs that you’d put in the fire place! I was instantly shocked and of course focused on my big ass canks for the rest of the afternoon. So as I was feeling them to see if they had fluid I realize that I also have sausage fingers to go with my canks!
Our friend L was over and we went to the drugstore so that I could get a quick reading of my blood pressure. The first reading came out at 155/70 — but I’m pretty sure it’s because I had to waddle to the back of the store and was out of breath. The second reading was 122/60. Not too shabby.
Of course, last night Margot got to hear me moan and complain about the cankle legs and I’m pretty paranoid that my feet look like Fred Flintstones.
In other news — Wegmans Deluxe Chocolate Cake - THE BOMB. It’s gooey chocolate cake that has three layers seperated by the sweetest and thickest layer of chocolate icing I’ve ever tasted or seen in my life.
I got a mini one at the bakery and let’s just say… it was too mini and I should really hide the evidence from my dear partner before she gets home and realizes that I consumed the whole damn thing.
February 27, 2008 at 9:21 am · Filed under Food, PP
Margot loves oysters! It’s been a while since we’ve actually gone to Maxis and had good seafood. Typically she gets some oysters on the half shell and I get fried crawfish tails.
I’ve never been up for the slimyness of oysters of eating something that involves slurping and sliding down the throat. Eek!
When I was a kid my parents used to go to a seafood buffet and boy could my mom pack down Gulf oysters! The trick is that they have to be fresh and have to be under proper conditions. I remember after going to one of the buffets we came home and she was sicker than a dog.
One oyster joke I remember as a kid was:
Q: What did the girl oyster say to the boy oyster?
A: “You never open up to me.”
For great oyster information you’ve got to check out: BeOysterAware.com
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