It seems like more and more people are getting cancer these days. Maybe it’s just the fact that we’re getting older or maybe it’s just the fact that environment, genetics, or the way we are treating our bodies are catching up to us.
I read the other day about mesothelioma and was shocked to see some of the studies in the news about cancer caused by asbestos. For years we knew asbestos was bad…but noone realized it was this harmful.
for the neglect that we have been giving our website and our loyal readers.
First off, let me start by saying - we’re all fine (including baby Emerson!).
Quite a bit has happened over the past week or so and I’ll try to catch up as much as possible.
Saturday afternoon: we got the call that Margot’s dad was not doing well and that his wound was becoming infected and that they might have to go in and perform surgery. There were also some major financial things that needed to be dealt with.
Sunday: we make the decision that Margot should go to NYC to see her dad and it is really unclear to his condition and if he will even pull through this. The infection has spread and we were told that his “gut was hanging out of his body.”
Monday: Margot gets on the nice C2C bus which has internet access and soda and somehow manages to get to NY in 3.5 hours. (We still haven’t figured out how this is done!) Margot sees her dad and realizes that he’s in bad shape. She also starts to plow through the financial mess.
Grammy and me actually go to J&L’s house to stay for the few days that Margot’s gone. It was nice having someone around to help with dinner and kid time. Plus, the last time Margot left I kept thinking we had predators in our house and hated being alone. So this situation worked out really good.
Tuesday: Margot stays at the hospital most of the day. Graem goes to daycare.
Wednesday: Margot comes back home at 11pm and we are all a happy family again. When she left it appears that her dad is recovering and the antibiotics are kicking in. Plus, she has sorted through the financial stuff and there’s now a gameplan for how to proceed.
It’s so nice that we’re all back home and can resume our nightly family hugs.
We just got back home, unpacked and half-bathed (I have yet to bathe). I’m glad to be back home, and away from the hospital insanity. My dad seems to be recovering well–he’s awake, his stats look good, and is on pain medication. The down side is that he’s starting to get depressed: he’s upset that the surgery didn’t go quite as he expected, the tumor was more aggressive than anyone had thought, and he now has an ileostomy and a colostomy. I think he’s also starting to realize that he will be fighting this the rest of his life, on some level or another.
It’s hard because I’m just relieved that he made it through surgery–both of them–and seems to be healing up well. I kept thinking the past two days that he seemed stronger, healthier and better off now than how he was when I drove down last week. There is also something reassuring about him being in the hospital–being cared by others than himself.
I have to admit I was a bit appalled by the hospital he is in–and am greatly appreciative of our local hospital. The hospital is pretty run down, not even up-to-date with HIPAA regulations and privacy screens, and worst of all: it had some of the filthiest bathrooms I have ever been in, including interstate rest stops! We made sure to wash our hands frequently, but half of the hand sanitizer dispensers were empty. I know we bitch and moan about our hospital, but even before the recent renovations, our hospital was so much cleaner and well-maintained. I just hope that my dad’s hospital makes up for their maintenance in quality of care. The nurses in the surgical ICU were fabulous–most of them were Filipina, which was nice for us: my aunt and my dad both worked the Filipino connection with them.
Hopefully my dad will get to talk with his surgeon tomorrow (he hasn’t seen him since his surgery, which is surprising), and maybe he’ll be moved to a regular bed.
I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to actually write the followup post to Margot’s dad’s surgery. Things here have been a bit of a whirlwind and we’ve just been trying to stay afloat.
Thursday Margot’s dad was admitted into surgery at Beth Israel in Manhattan. The hospital has horrible facilities and one room for family members to sit. There aren’t employees that check in with you periodically and it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle.
So during the surgery the family decided to come back home and spend a few hours - worrying.
Then we all decided to make the trek back into the city on the subway to wait for the surgeon and to see how Manny was doing. We waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, the surgeon came out and said that it seemed a bit worse than they had initially thought and that the small and large intestines had to be cut and reconnected in many different places.
He said that he was able to get 99% of the cancer out and he actually had to scrape and burn the cancer off of the pelvic bone. This, of course, caused concern because once the cancer enters the bone then it becomes very dangerous. The surgeon also called the cancer “aggressive and slow growing.”
By that, he said that it was aggressive to other parts of the body and he seemed shocked that it really hadn’t gone into the major organs. He did think that it had been growing for a while.
When we left the hospital Thursday we were all shell shocked because initially they were going to do an ilestomy bag which would be connected at the top of the intestine and collect unprocessed food.
Upon talking to the surgeon we were shocked to hear that the damage was so bad and that the doctor did not want to put the colon back into place - so he decided to put in a colostomy bag. That means that it’s actually going to collect processed food or poop.
After we heard the news and were going home we stepped off of the subway and Margot’s brother received a call on his cell from the chief resident. He said that Manny was still bleeding and they didn’t know where it was coming from. So they wanted to go back into surgery, open him up, and investigate.
So, everyone came back home and then Margot and Dennis went back to the hospital during the surgery. Of course, the waiting room that sucked initially - was locked. So Margot ended up camping out on the floor outside of the recovery room.
After the second surgery the doctor came in and explained that the bleeding was from the staples and that they took them out and replaced them with stitches and it seemed to go well. However, they also added an ilestomy bag too.
At least he was stable and not bleeding.
The whole family (with the exception of Graem and me) went to the hospital and hung out yesterday for the whole day. It seems that Manny is doing well and they even took out the breathing tubes.
It’s going to be a hard recovery and he will still have to go to the doctor’s office often and even undergo chemo but it seems like we just need to take one day at a time.
We must have unknowingly snuck into New York City yesterday. I thought we had told our friends and family but all of a sudden we receive a few calls on the way up from friends who had no idea we were out of town.
We woke up at 5:30am and left the house at around 7:30 or so. Graem was not in the best of moods and despite our attempts of packing the night before - it just didn’t happen.
The drive was pretty good and when we left Ithaca it was icy and really cold. Upon entering New Jersey it was a beautiful 55 degrees and the sun was shining. We felt like we had hit the jackpot and made a wrong turn towards Florida!
When we got to the house you could tell that Margot’s dad was glad to see her. He had just started the treatment to cleanse his bowel and colon before the surgery and was able to talk. His coloring was good and he even held Graem.
Throughout his treatment his pain level changed and the obstruction of his bowel started to hurt and by this morning he started bleeding again.
When he was lying down taking a nap we decided to head out for a little bit and check out a baby store. This great place specializes in strollers and they had hundreds - wall to wall. Of course, it was like heaven to me because I always see these great strollers in the city and wonder where everyone gets them.
We tried out a few different strollers and ended up purchasing the bright green Phil and Ted’s stroller with an orange Mr. B - NYC bag. Graem loved the stroller too and didn’t want to get out of it, even though we told her we were going to buy it! The stroller is highly functional and I think it will be perfect for Ithaca days when the snow is too much to trench through. Plus, baby Emerson can ride “bitch” in the back.
We weren’t out for long and decided to go back to the house to check on Margot’s dad. When we game in he had tried to hook himself up to an IV, again. He was feeling more pain too. We hung out with him and then we had to leave to pick up Auntie Lupe at La Guardia airport.
Margot went in and found her and I stayed in the loading zone with Graem. Thank heavens Graem decided to go to sleep in her carseat because it would have been a long one hour wait with some crying on the side!
This morning Margot, Dennis, Gala, and Lupe all took Margot’s dad in for the surgery at Beth Israel Hospital in Manhattan. His surgery isn’t scheduled til 11:30 or they had to get here early for some pre-op stuff. I was shocked to hear that the surgery is scheduled for six hours.
When Graem gets up I’m going to feed her, wash up, and I think we might either hang out in Brooklyn or we might be brave enough to head up to the hospital in Manhattan via subway. I’d have to walk about 4 blocks in Brooklyn and a few blocks in Manhattan. Plus, I think there is one transfer. It doesn’t sound too bad and if Graem is on board with walking I won’t have to carry the stroller up the stairs.
I just hope and pray that he comes out of the surgery pain free and that the cancer is gone for good.
The ongoing antics of two thirty-something *gasp* mamas raising our three-year-old daughter and adding another baby girl to the mix.