A Tale of Two Mamas
Trying to keep someone IN timeout
Archive for Blogroll
January 13, 2008 at 1:40 pm · Filed under Baby Project 2, Blogroll, PDB - PetriDish Baby
I received numerous emails from chat groups and even the American Fertility Association regarding the Tyra Banks show’s upcoming show about infertile women and their struggle to get pregnant.
In fact, I was almost going to answer with a reply and see if I was eligible to be part of the show because it was about women desperate to become mothers and had tried many different routes including artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization without success.
Little did I know that the whole idea behind the show was:
“Do you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom? Have you seen and heard her struggle for years, felt her unvoiced jealously and seen her desperation first hand? Have you watched silently for too long as she gets her hopes up only to be disappointed and heartbroken when she can’t conceive? Has she tried extreme methods and spent a lot of money to get pregnant with no luck? Do you want to finally tell her she needs to stop the emotional and physical stress on her body and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative? If you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom and getting pregnant, then SUBMIT BELOW.“
Today I received an email from the American Fertility Association apologizing to its members for soliciting for the show and the following:
Trampling on Trust
As many of you know, The AFA makes every effort to assist the media when reports, stories and programs deal with infertility, reproductive difficulties, fertility preservation and protection. We were approached by the Tyra Banks Show senior producer who pitched one segment about women who pursue ART despite repeated let-downs and perhaps impossible odds. We sent a notice to you asking if you’d be interested in participating in that show. What we’ve subsequently learned is that the taping revealed another agenda entirely. We are furious. There is no excuse for that duplicitious solicitation. Below is the open letter we’ve sent to the Tyra Banks senior producer.
Ms. Radecki,
The American Fertility Association is writing in response to the numerous calls, emails and blog links we’ve received about the Tyra Banks Show you’ve produced about “infertility.”
We gladly assisted you in your effort to recruit people who’ve stuck with Assisted Reproduction despite long-shot odds and the painful difficulties associated with compromised fertility for an installment of your show. Your detailed query asked for contact with women who could speak emotionally and articulately about their determination and their struggles (see below). It is your right to interview willing and informed participants as you see fit. Here we underscore informed. Your show is not a news show, but rather planned entertainment. Nowhere in that initial letter or in numerous subsequent conversations did you even hint that what you were intending was a set up for “spontaneous” interventions and the subsequent damaging conflagrations.
Let’s be clear. If you’d honestly put forth your mission, stating that the Tyra Banks Show was interested in emotional confrontations, people willing to defend to family, friends and the world their particular quest for biogenetic children, we’d have put out your solicitation to our membership just the same. We believe in the intelligent decision-making capacities of the people The American Fertility Association serves. However, it now appears you were running a bait-and-switch operation designed to exploit well-meaning and, apparently, the most vulnerable among this group of patients simply to re-create a by-now tired and trite TV rite of public humiliation. That is simply reprehensible.
It is unfortunate that the prism through which The Tyra Banks Show chose to view the delicate and complex subjects of reproductive difficulties and associated medical treatments yielded very little about those topics. Instead, we are told, the focus was on manufactured conflict and hysteria. You could just as well have targeted any other poorly understood condition or disease and produced the same segment.
We regret that we have exposed our membership to such tactics. Despite urging that you treat reproductive difficulties with sensitivity and thoughtfulness — even if that yielded tough grilling and a feisty give-and-take, you chose to tread the same histrionic ground that’s pretty well trampled by now.
The Staff of The American Fertility Association
***
All I can say is shame on you, Tyra. You obviously haven’t been stricken with the 1 out of 6 odds for being infertile or needing reproductive assistance.
I always knew you were a stone cold bitch - but this goes to all new lows. Not even Maury Povich or Jerry Springer could have been as insensitive or desperate for ratings.
December 8, 2007 at 10:14 pm · Filed under Actual posts about being moms, Blogroll
Ever since I was pregnant with Graem, we have talked about and read about inducing lactation for the non-carrying one of us. The idea of it always intrigued me, in that we both have the opportunity to do so, so why not? But I think we were just so overwhelmed with first-time parenthood and the process of actually inducing is tedious enough that Shawna didn’t do it the first time around.
I found nursing so enjoyable with Graem, and I attribute my bonding with her to it (I know, it probably isn’t the only reason I bonded), that I am pretty excited about doing it this time around. I also hope that it will help me bond with the baby, which I have a little anxiety about since I won’t be pushing this one through my na-na.
We’ve perused various webpages on the topic–I seem to have found all the ones that involve using hormones like the BCP and domperidone, while Shawna keeps finding ones that state that mechanical stimulation (i.e., breast pump or actual baby) will induce lactation. The lactation consultant at Graem’s pediatrician’s office is very excited at the prospect, but has never actually helped anyone do it; I emailed another local consultant who is a leading breastfeeding expert, and her experience seems pretty limited as well. One of the midwives we met with (who would be the one to prescribe the BCP/other hormones if we choose that route) had no idea how to do it, so at this point we’re not really sure where to go. Minimally I’ve started pumping for about 15-20 minutes a night, but if I really want it to work, I’m going to have to add more pumping sessions. Which will mean lugging the pump back and forth to work, since some sources insist on pumping every three hours! The good news is that some pages that Shawna read said that milk could come in as few as 11-13 days.
Actually hooking myself up to the pump brought back memories; but it was also sad to see that not much was coming out–except for some oily secretion. The prospect of pumping at work seems overwhelming now; it’s funny to remember how much I wasn’t bothered by it almost three years ago.
We’ll see how it goes…and I’ll keep posting about it.
November 5, 2007 at 8:39 am · Filed under Blogroll
Actually, it hasn’t been too long! But it feels like forever and I have quite a bit to write about.
Saturday morning I woke up to go to the bathroom and I had some bright red spotting. So I was a little worried and of course I couldn’t go back to bed. So at 5:30am I decided to leave the house and was at the doctor’s office in Syracuse by 7:00am.
The doctor took me in and did an ultrasound. Baby bean was doing fine and had grown quite a bit since the last time I saw him on ultrasound. They have no idea why I’m bleeding other than my cervix is still sensitive and it could also be caused by the suppositories I have been using.
Either way… I decided to take it easy this weekend and lay low on the couch. I haven’t bled at all since that morning and so that’s been reassuring too.
I like having the baby doppler because whenever I doubt that I’m still pregnant or have concerns I’m able to catch the baby’s heartbeat and it’s pretty comforting to know that everything’s alright.
At least for that minute…
November 4, 2007 at 8:28 pm · Filed under Blogroll, Tech
I’m not sure why, but updating the website is always a little scary. It always says, “Backup, backup, backup!” And then when I reload the page, something inevitably goes wrong, and I get a weird php error. But…it seems that things have gone okay–so far.
Upgrading is antithetical to my “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” M.O., but this was all instigated by Shawna’s desire to add a new poll for whether this kid is going to be a boy or a girl. Check it out on the right!
[poll=2]
November 1, 2007 at 12:08 pm · Filed under Blogroll
We have our next appointment with the fertility center this Tuesday at 10am. I have a feeling this might be the last appointment aside from the last IvIG transfusion that they’ll do at 14 weeks.
They are going to do an ultrasound before the transfusion Tuesday and I can’t wait to see the little bean. I was shocked to see how much he/she grew.
I must admit that I’m going to be so sad not to go to the fertility center each week and see the little bean. There’s reassurance in seeing him on the screen with the flickering of his heartbeat.
It’s a good thing that we are renting the baby doppler so that we can find the heartbeat! I was able to get it for a few seconds the other night and I haven’t tried since then. I figure I’ll do it every few days just to make sure he’s still in there!
Of course, with the nausea lingering I don’t think I could forget!
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