This is the first real day that I’ve been at home with Emerson by myself. Last night was pretty rough because she woke up at 4am and wanted to nurse and then was fully awake.

So at 5:30am I ended up taking her downstairs and sleeping with her on the couch. In the middle of sleeping she nuked me and I was so tired I just went back to sleep.

What is even worse than that is that it’s 11:30am and I’m still wearing the same shirt that has baby barf all over it!

This whole morning has been spent nursing and holding her because each time I’ve tried to transition her to the crib she wakes up and screams. Then the whole process starts again and I have to nurse her and hold her for a while then put her back in the crib…

The funny thing about all of this is that I’m typically a pretty grumpy person when it comes to losing sleep, however, there are some nights/mornings when I can just gaze at this little girl sleeping and before I know it…an hour has passed.

I’m so in love with this little one and I’m still shocked that she’s mine and not someone elses.

And despite everything we’ve been through to get her here I’d do it over in a minute - even if it is at 4:32am.