I’m exhausted, bitchy, exhausted, crampy, and exhausted.

My hips, lower back, and pelvis have been giving me issues in the evening and of course it just gets worse as the night goes on and I try to get some sleep.

Today we went to the midwife and we asked our list of questions. She also checked to see how the baby was in my belly. Initially, she said that the baby felt like she was head down. YIPPEE!

Just before the appointment PDB had the hiccups and I could feel the hiccups up high (under the boobs) and so I was sure the baby was head up. (It’s really a treat to see the girls bobbing up and down as the baby hiccups. Sometimes I think I’m going to get a black eye.)

So the midwife gets out the doppler to check the baby’s heartbeat. She goes everywhere and little Emmy starts performing karate chops to all parts of my belly! She then does some ninja jumps complete with full twirls and cartwheels.

Finally, the midwife finds the baby’s heartbeat right above my belly button. Which would lead us to think that she’s head up and not head down like she’s suppose to be.

So she decides to do the Strep B culture to see if I need antibiotics during delivery. It that test comes up positive then they’ll try to push delivery along within 24 hours after my water breaks and I’ll be given pennicilin.

*WARNING: TOO MUCH INFO*
I thought that the culture was done in your who-ha and was shocked that they touch the swab three times. All three times between your chotchy and bunghole. Interesting indeed.

*BACK TO NORMAL CONVERSATION*
So, after she was done with the Strep B culture she went in and did an internal to see if she could feel the baby’s head. She thinks it was the head and it seemed low. However, I was experiencing too much pain and asked her to stop.

I really think I’m going to be screwed with this whole delivery thing. I can’t even take a few fingers in there, yet I’m expected to get a baby out of that same vicinity. Damn, mama’s in trouble.

Much to our delight we were told that little girl is probably long and anywhere between 6 and 6 1/2 pounds!

The good thing about all of this is that we get an ultrasound out of it because the midwife couldn’t say for sure how the baby is lying. Thursday’s the big day and I’m hoping and praying that little girl is head down and stays that way!!

Now I’m going to watch some court television. I’m hoping that will put me fast to sleep!

P.S. I love the Double Whopper with cheese sandwich from Burger King. Yum. And yes, I can eat the whole damn thing. With fries. And a shake.