So we’re finally here–back in Las Vegas, showered up, settled in, and in bed. Yes, we are attempting to maintain east coast time, so two-thirds of the fam are in bed and asleep at 7:45 (I admit, I was 50% of that two-thirds for about 30 minutes–if you can figure out that math).
We traveled for about 15 hours today, including the time change. Anticipating the new security measures regarding liquids and gels on flights, we made it to Syracuse two hours before our flight, which was a grand waste of time, given there are about 7 people in central New York choosing to fly to Las Vegas at 8AM on a Thursday. We had packed a light load and forgone all the water- and gel-based amenities, with the exception of an insulated lunch bag chock full o’ meds, including syringes, vials, opiate-derived pain killers, baby sedatives and suppositories. Shawna took the time to clearly label all the meds, and even had a permission letter from her doctor inserted neatly into the bag. We checked the bulk of our luggage, which consisted of diapers and 3 pairs of underpants each–we kept the important things such as computer and baby entertainment devices on us at all times. At the security checkpoint, we virtually undressed and were ready to walk through the x-ray machine when we were rudely told that no milk was allowed, in spite of the blatant, multiple signs on TSA letterhead stating that no liquids or gels were permitted on flights, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF BABY FORMULA/MILK. We were told that we had to dump out the three bottles we brought with us, along with the remaining half gallon we were planning on toting along. Meanwhile, Shawna was going through the pat-down procedure for her pacemaker, and no questions were asked regarding the syringes, suppositories, or opiates. We were livid.
At the actual gate, during Shawna’s second attempt to upgrade us to First Class (unsuccessful), she was told that there is no milk available on any of the flights. Shawna asked if half-and-half was available, and if so, we’d need about 30 or 40 of the little cups to fill her bottle. We bought our requisite $10 breakfast at the Au Bon Pain, including a 20 oz. bottle of 2% milk to force-feed to Graem and a couple of $2.00 (!!!) bagels. I fretted about how to sneak on the remainder of the milk onto the plane, conjuring up lies about it being breastmilk, formula, Graem having to be on an all-liquid diet. Then when we went through the last security check before boarding, all they did was ask who the bottle was for (me), and then the gate attendant cheerfully suggested that we could have filled up all of our bottles and bring them on! It took every ounce of strength to restrain myself from going into a tirade about having to dump a half gallon plus three bottles of $7/gallon organic milk because of a GED dropout who is in charge of national security at Hancock International Airport.
True, the security issues aren’t entirely US Airways’ fault; however, their growing incompetence and deceptive advertising regarding their frequent flier miles has pushed us over the edge. We were recently suckered into opening up another Dividend Miles card with US Airways–the promo being peddled by the salesperson in the terminal sounded like a good offer: 25,000 miles just for opening an account! And, no worries, the new account would automatically be linked to your existing frequent fliers miles account! Plus we got two folding desktop calculators to seal the deal.
Fast forward to actually receiving the card, and nearing the date to purchase the tickets for Las Vegas round 2. It turned out that you only get 15,000 miles for your first purchase (we bought $4.00 of milk at the gas station), and the remaining 10,000 miles would be credit upon a balance transfer, subject to a 3% transfer fee! Plus, the credit cards are held at a so-called “Juniper Bank;” at least the previous farce of a card was held at the slightly-more-reputable-but-still-indicted-of-financial-misdealings Bank of America. It took over a month of phone calls to various managers at both US Airways and Juniper Bank and threats to report activity to the state Attorney General to get our new mileage accounts linked/merged with the old ones, only to find that the miles are barely usable. Between blackout days and bizarre rules about being able to use the miles for one-way travel only (which I thought would get you put on a terrorist watch list), we’ve concluded that this mileage program is a scam. Mileage seats aren’t upgradeable, there are never any available first class seats to upgrade a purchased coach seat.
To top things off, their planes are a bunch of jalopies! The main leg of our flight was on an ancient 757 that was literally held together with paper towels (photo to be added). During the taxi for takeoff, water started leaking into the cabin from the ceiling. The seats are crummy, they still have those stupid phones in the headrests for those of us who have not entered the 21st century but have gobs of expendable cash to spend $9/minute on a phonecall, the TV monitors were cut into the ceiling and improperly sealed–hence the leakage, the bathrooms smell like armageddon, the areas of the plane wing that say No Step have tarred footprints all over them, and the trays don’t go up unless you assault the seat in front of you.
My favorite: the repackaged Lunchables that they sell for $5 and call a “Funbox.” It’s almost pornographic.
